i sit in my room with my palms lifted up and i’ve got nothing. i just sit. i sigh. i stare into space. Lord, i pray, i don’t understand this….this emptiness that i feel when i come to meet with You. i open up the psalms and speak them back, that has so often worked in the past. but i still feel dry, the words taste chalky in my mouth and i find myself so very thirsty. eventually i give up and go do the dishes. my heart’s groaning that i can’t find words to wrap around lift to the One who is Present constant, and He hears. i know that He hears and can translate my dry desert pleas. i move out and about in the day-seeking to be aware of His nearness. and i am a bit, even tho i don’t feel it.
i am frustrated. confused. i find prayer to be mysterious and i don’t understand it or myself these days. i’ve been in this place for quite some time now, moving into the struggle seeking understanding…. seeking relief. i’ve been diligent and hungry. i’ve been lazy and indifferent. and so, it seemed fitting to wrestle this all out via the 31 days writing challenge.
i honestly don’t know how it will go, but i do know that i want growth in this area. you too? please, then come along with me. Each day a new post will appear-some may come in the morning, other’s will slip in just before midnight-it just depends on the day! As the month moves along you can visit this page to see all of the posts listed in one place.