the pictures scroll through randomly as my screen saver. a boy with a stick and a tire amongst the red dirt of Uganda. my two boys hugging tigger at disney world. snow on mountain peaks. the sunrise over the train tracks near my house. it stops me sometimes as i walk past-these are all photos taken by me, grouped randomly by my computer-a study in the contrasts of my existence.
i sat to think about the intensity of the last 24 hours. pausing for quiet, to recover, to be restored, redeemed. my mind moves back a day, back a day, back a day. the intensity of the last month….year….5 years….
i breath. in. out. pray prayers without words.
“if you are tired, learn to rest, not to quit.”
Alleppo has fallen
the grey house with the green door on the corner of 7th boasts flashing lights “porn!” “Live girls” a marajuana leaf, a car missing it’s window
my neighbor is remodeling.
her house looks beautiful,
i so appreciate it’s beauty.
one of my neighbors’ house caught fire on election night.
it was in the attic. now there are keep out posters on the doors
due to asbestos
i stood and watched the firemen do their thing.
with smoke pouring in next door, a neighbor steps away
to close her windows
and get a cup of cold water for the one who was in the house
when it caught fire
this little house of ours is overflowing with art projects,
christmas projects, school papers, children fighting,
a broken dryer, piles of dishes,
the heat and plumbing are working,
children are also laughing,
scheming surprises for one another.
christmas lights will soon shine their joy
into the dark of night.
one minute i lament,
the next i praise
i’ve been praying,
and these are what my prayers look like;
i come from two countries
one is thirsty
the other is on fire
both need water
.later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
where does it hurt?
i’ve been praying too.
prayers that look messy
full of stuttering, absent of many words.
i walk through these days
gazing at the world travelers
where is the beauty?
to draw further in: Isaiah 40, 58; Psalm 91, Romans 8, Matthew 4:12-17; O Come O Come Immanuel