what i am really talking about is another place of surrender.

there have been many before, and will be many to come. it is all a giving up.  giving up my agenda. my expectations. my plans.  and it involves losses.  and unless those losses are honestly grieved-i can’t move on.  i am pretty sure that is a psychological fact for the entire human race.  i dare you – prove me wrong. and anyway, grieving involves simply being honest about how i really feel.

…..and the question ever before me; “is God real… or not?  does He love me… or not?  is He for me… or not?” 

…..and the real answer-it is an ambivalent one.

i surrender to Your plan Lord, help me overcome my holding back!

i trust You Lord, help me overcome my fear!

i am thankful Lord, help me overcome my ingratitude!

i believe You Lord, help me overcome my unbelief!