when i called, i didn’t know to be worried. when they start asking me questions, I begin to put 2 and 2 together and realize that they are worried….and so i pray. when she put the oxygen thingy on his finger and decides to try another because of the reading, my heart beats a little faster and i remember this very scene 11 years ago when he almost died. and so i pray. tests come back negative and it looks like he just has a virus that needs a couple more days to run its course-which is where i started in the first place. and so i pray.
i hear news of the struggle in their marriage and the way he’s running. i take it in and move about the day until my heart is just overcome and stopping in the midst of things to pray requires no thought or effort-it just happens, continuing as time keeps moving along and change is not forthcoming.
and then there is that malady that is wreaking havoc on another dear one’s body and keeping him up hours upon hours with no name or treatment. we, his sheep, have laid hands and prayed to the One who knows everything. healing hasn’t come and he’s still not able to shepherd the flock the Lord has stirred love in his heart for. some nights when sleep evades me i find myself overcome and prayer on his behalf is as breathing-simply a response of the heart as i remember him.
seeing as i drive the majesty of these mountains i’ve grown accustomed to and i scarce can take it in. praise to the One who formed these peaks and colored these trees happens without effort.
the list goes on and on; moments the light catches my daughter’s hair; glancing over at my husband working hard. There are no more lists, but intercession still happens-when His Spirit moves within and i can’t help it. I try to force it at times and as i’ve said here-that isn’t working anymore. desperate moments as a mama, friend, wife, and prayer flows easy; Beauty that overwhelms and prayer flows easy…..when it does flow. God is not Aladdin and I cannot command my heart to be stirred, or His Spirit to move. in the waiting i ask Him to bring warmth to the coldness and light to the darkness. and when He does.
i breathe deep in wonder and say thank you.