walking in the door-the events of the morning and the message on the phone lingering.

i fall to my knees without words.

and He speaks the very word that names what i am feeling:

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (it can be sung to the tune of ‘do your ears hang low’ that’s how it got filed away in my head and how it always returns.)

ahh, there is such a connection between hope and joy.  You alone are my hope.  that’s what my dear friend answered me when i asked her; “how do you hang onto hope?”

You are the God of hope, You are the one who fills to overflowing-You are power-ful.

finding myself driven by my great need to shut the door of my room and hide away with my Shepherd for a bit.

remembering His words;

blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  blessed are those who morn, for they will be comforted.

You Lord have promised comfort.

up on my wall is this:

“if i say my foot is slipping, your faithful love will support me, Lord.  when i am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy.” (psalm 94:18-19)

His comfort….a pathway to joy

and i sit with Him.  i play the music.  close my eyes and listen to the words wash over me.


and this:

and i let the tears fall.  over what is. 
                                             out there.
                              and what is.
                                        inside my very heart.

i know full well of the plentiful harvest and the few workers.  i know full well my lack.  i know full well the grief sin keeps causing.  and the temptations to believe lies, all kinds of lies.  

one of the gifts He has given thus far today is solitude here in my room.  to weep with Him, to sit and breathe and wait on Him. 

and He meets me here, right where i am at.

Keep me safe, O God,
                for in You i take refuge.
i said to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
                apart from You i have no good thing.”
As for the saints who are in the land,
                they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those will increase
                who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
                or take up their names on my lips.
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
                You have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
                surely i have a delightful inheritance.
i will praise the LORD who counsels me;
                even at night my heart instructs me.
i have set teh LORD always before me.
                Because He is at my right hand, i will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
                my body also will rest secure,
because You will not abandon me to the grave,
                nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life;
                You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
                with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.  psalm 16


this is part of a 31 day series on Provision.  To see the first post in the series click here.  To read the entire series click here and read backwards (the first post is listed last, the latest post is listed first-i don’t know how to change that. thank you for grace.)