art – Page 3 – Chasing Joy

Category: art (page 3 of 4)

breathing among the papyrus reeds

September 7, 2014 / mel

Then [Moses’ mother] placed the child among the papyrus reeds along the bank of the Nile. His sister stood at a distance to see what would happen to him.

Then Pharaoh’s daughter went down to the Nile to bathe. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her slave girl to get it. -exodus 2

at the last minute we decide to walk to school. i place a ball cap on my head, grab my phone and off we go. i decide that walking is nicer than driving and we talk more than when on the bike. i walk him all the way to the playground give him a hug and off he bounds for another day of 4th grade.

i see a friend that i can’t recall ever seeing in the morning before school. she looks at me and says;

i know why you are here. God brought you here on purpose. He knew exactly what i needed today.

on a fluke, she had walked around the building with her 4th grader too.

did you catch there what i did? i called it a fluke. but it was no fluke.

all the disciplines have been a fight lately. i fight to pray. i sit with my Bible in my lap and my eyes blur and the words are still and dead and stagnate. so i talk with Him about it. and i ask for help. but day after day i find it the same. one day last week the words became alive again and in my joy i shared it all here. i thought maybe the dry season had ended and the rainy season had begun. but the fight returned and it’s been more of the same.

we sip tea together and talk of the deep heart issues. His Word springs forth and quenches as only It can. and i am left to marvel at the words that come and the Truths that we embrace together. i share a little of this marveling especially in relation to how things have felt this summer. and she says;

it’s because it’s in you. His Word is in you.

i’m entering a different place of trust here….always another place of trust.

what she said is true in its way. He has promised that just as the rain waters the earth, so do His Words that go out from His mouth, accomplishing what He intended. He has also said that streams of living water will overflow from within those who are His.

But there is more. i remember Joseph’s words;

and God will surely come to your aid and take you up out of this place…

and i remember how Pharaoh’s daughter happened upon that little baby in the basket. and i acknowledge that it is no less a miracle that my friend and i happened upon each other. And what i so enjoy about the whole thing is that i didn’t have to have showered or dressed for the occasion. i didn’t’ have to have any profound revelation. i didn’t even have to know to show up. i just had to be breathing. all the rest?

was God surely coming to our very aid.

heading back to N. Carolina to spend time in a Barn

August 30, 2014 / mel

Last year i went to N. Carolina to attend an afternoon At The Barn

as a family we’d been impacted by a fire in 2011, another one in 2012, living in town 5 of us crammed into a 2 bedroom 800 sq ft house, and many battles for hope.

personally, i’d turned 40 and found myself walking blindly through a fog of decisions that included leaving a ministry i’d been a part of for 15 years, clueless as to where the Lord was taking my heart and my life but following step by step and clinging to Isaiah 42:16 and 50:10-11

in the middle of a flood, i pressed the button to reserve my ticket for The Barn Event.

on the plane i finished up the last chapters of Emily’s book; A Million Little Ways, and waited in anticipation for all that the Lord would do during this much needed weekend away. then there were no words for all that transpired between the airport and the actual event. but i carved out a few anyway-The Lord, my Shepherd .

worn and weary i headed out on the road towards somewhere, NC and that glorious Barn.

and i began to breathe

And for an afternoon i was refreshed, inspired, seen. and i was so very glad i went.

and i learned a thing or two about rest. that rest not a place, rest is a Person. yes He can use a place to draw me into deeper rest in Him-What Emily said about hope applies here too. sometimes rest finds you on the Beach, while other times you have to dig for it among the bugs.

lately i’ve been growing in taking my writing more seriously. by that i mean, actually telling people; “i’m writing” i tried it out the other day at the vet’s when i got to see our actual vet whom i’ve known for years but rarely get. the question came; “how have you been, what have you been doing?” and i updated him about the ages of my kids and then i said; “i’ve been writing.” the vet was a safe place to try it out, it’s less risky because the odds of him actually asking to read anything is very slim.

but the saying it out loud to someone else means i am giving it value.

home alone, i was on Emily’s blog the other day and i saw the link to another barn event. this time specifically for writers. my heart skipped a beat and i payed attention. i allowed myself to go there. that meant clicking the link to the event and checking out the details. then looking around online at flights and hotels and what would it cost? then seeing the cost and knowing it was not doable and sitting back in my chair and grieving. then getting out the map and seeing what’s nearby. and then checking flights to nearby places.

it is cheap to fly to Atlanta. i tuck the knowledge away

jeremy and the kids come home and there is all the telling about their time and i listen and we go about life. amidst all the noise and moving about together, i mention it. softly and timidly, i mention it. “there is another barn event, this time focused on writing. it’s in Midland, 4 hours from Atlanta.”

and he listens.

and sits down and pulls out his phone (because, the calendar). this summer things shifted for him at work and he’s been traveling every month. to Atlanta.

“when is it?”

“i think that’s when my next Atlanta trip is…..yep it is.”

“i think you should do it. go ahead and buy the ticket and then we will work out all the details.”

i hesitate a bit. then move toward the idea. we talk about taking a weekend away together. he mentions the places he’s been that we can now see together. he doesn’t mind me spending part of our time at a writing event. even though he’ll be dropping me off 4 hours from our hotel? he says he’ll be fine finding something to do. i’ll return home on Monday, and he’ll stay behind for work.

i buy the ticket.

This time, i’m not necessarily going for rest (tho i’ll take it whenever it comes!)

no, this time, i’m going to Atlanta for the romance.

and to the Barn Event? i’m going for my heart.

An Unexpected Journey-looking back

August 16, 2014 / mel

i take the time to ponder my surprising response to those who deemed my choices foolish. and i realize the gift the broken car and sick child and sick me gave. all of that shifted my perspective very quickly to the reality that i have no control over anything. and the natural stress and fatigue that they brought with them shifted my energy. no longer did i have energy to spend self-editing, self-doubting, self-focusing.

i marvel at the One who takes the bad and creates something good from it. satan’s plans are thwarted. God is still glorified, light shines in dark places, and i become more free. and i have nothing to do with any of it. all there is to do is soak in the Wonder.

there is so much joy in freedom.

there is so much freedom in understanding who i am and Whose i am and Who He Is.

looking back i see the beautiful work of a Father, moving this daughter into the world and creating Art with the way:

i keep talking even tho my words aren’t being understood
i keep deciding even tho i don’t have all the information
i reject analysis of my time with the car and with family. i let Him fight for me and once strengthened i join the fight for hope. i rest in the truth that Christ is in me-and He will come out. it is the hope of glory. it is glory’s only hope.

i take the risk and go on the hike. i speak honestly my frustration about being left behind without food and water, but don’t condemn. i listen to the journey my husband and son took with interest and share in their joy.

i pay attention to the fact that the words don’t stick. i marvel at the way fatigue and stress and sickness remove my ability to absorb another’s opinions. i recognize that not only is joy worth the fight, but avoidance of pain is not worth the absence of joy.

once we return from all the travels, i breathe deep the days of sleeping in and stop apologizing to the people in my imagination about the laundry not started and the groceries yet to get.

i accept the new definitions (travel mercies; regretless days). i move forward looking at the last two weeks as defining moments in becoming more fully at rest with who i am and Whose i am.

i show up here and write it all down

“Perhaps the most beautiful work you can do today is to begin to accept your creative inheritance from God and learn to become yourself in the presence of others, moving into the world as the person you fully are no matter where you are, who you’re with, or what’s gone wrong.”

-The Art of Your Work by Emily P. Freeman

it is for freedom
that Christ as set us free.

Stand firm, then,
and do not let yourselves be burdened again
by a yoke of slavery.

galatians 5:1

asking

March 10, 2014 / mel

Rembrandt’s Christ in the Storm on the Lake of Galilee

a knock on my window.

and i rise

from my place before the alter.
where i sat.
preaching the gospel to myself.

i open the door

and fix two cups of tea.
knowing without asking
to make hers green and mine black.

and we sit

next to each other

the immoral and moral.
the one who has striven to be lord and master of her life by breaking all the rules.
the one who has striven to be lord and master of her life by keeping them.

and is it true?

both the same in their need for a Savior?

both the same in their value to Him?
really? is it?

both with a chasm that we must see.

a chasm that we cannot cross

that keeps us altogether separate,
without God and without hope
in this land we traverse.

And both of our hands
Are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of our hands
Both of our hands -jon foreman

but God

But God has provided

and we must see
we must see the provision
for the joy to come in and take up residence in these hearts traversing this land.

God’s love which satisfied His own justice.

And both of His hands
Are equally skilled
At ruining evil
Equally skilled
At judging the judges
Equally skilled
At administering justice

Both of His hands
Both of His hands

Are equally skilled
At showing mercy

Equally skilled
At loving the loveless

Equally skilled
At administering justice

Both of His hands
Both of His hands -jon foreman

and so

this is why i keep asking.

because we both need….. we all need

desperately need his skilled hands

to give us the very thing this day requires

Spirit of wisdom to know Him better
eyes of our hearts enlightened to know the hope and riches of inheritance and power for us who believe.
richness of His mercy that gives life
power to grasp the vastness of His love
strength in Him and His might to take our stand against the devil?s schemes.
help in the struggle.

help in the struggle.
and hope…..
and joy in spite of the struggle.

and both of His hands are equally skilled.
at providing the solution
and showing us mercy
and loving us well
and restoring
oh the skill of His hands to restore.

to draw further in: ephesians-all 6 chapters;

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

gains and losses

November 20, 2013 / mel

the contrast of two clock towers – London, England

Those who have attained everlasting life in the vision of God doubtless know very well that it is no mere bribe, but the very consummation of their earthly discipleship; but we who have not yet attained it cannot know this in the same way, and cannot even begin to know it at all except by continuing to obey and finding the first reward of our obedience in our increasing power to desire the ultimate reward. Just in proportion as the desire grows, our fear lest it should be a mercenary desire will die away and finally be recognized as an absurdity. But probably this will not, for most of us, happen in a day; poetry replaces grammar, gospel replaces law, longing transforms obedience, as gradually as the tide lifts a grounded ship.
-C.S. Lewis from “The Weight of Glory”

so we’ve spent some time as a family talking about things. this house. school choices. life choices. about what we lose by staying put, and what we gain. because that’s just it. every choice comes with both losses and gains. the school choices are still in process-one has to move on as he’s entering 6th grade next year. but everyone, everyone, wanted to stay put in this very house.

at that meeting-when i spoke-passion welled up from within and spilled out and the words, they. just. came.

that i’m all in with regards to the ministry. we’re all in.

and i can’t speak for my family-and it doesn’t seem like any of them were in a place of questioning it all anyway- but something has shifted in me. this process of late has culminated with an inner shift.

nothing has changed without, but within poetry is replacing grammar and longing is transforming obedience.

this life we are living is beginning to look like art.

for today, this is where we will stay and do art.

my heart is growing in contentment more consistently.

i’ve always had this problem of pining away for something other than whatever it is that i have. maybe it’s the growing up in a military family where moving was the norm rather than staying put? the thanksgiving lists help refocus my vision. but the restlessness for something other is always there. this Spirit given shift has not removed my restlessness completely-there will always be that this side of heaven as it is heaven that my heart is longing for? but the restlessness that comes from wanting a different picture painted, a different outcome, a different process, and if i really dig deep enough and am honest, the restlessness? it’s restlessness wanting a different me.

i wrote a bit ago that art + no shame = joy.

i have been living ashamed of my art.

ashamed of my home

ashamed of what i do with my time, or don’t do with my time

ashamed of the gospel (i know it is the power of God for those who believe, ….. but still often i am ashamed of it)

ashamed of my writing (the reason i haven’t really told anyone about this blog?)

ashamed of…….

that grounded ship of shame is being lifted by the tide

and my understanding of art is deepening

and the joy i’ve been running hard after

that traveling joy that Jesus promised could not be taken

it’s not been found in where i thought it would be

the tide rolls it in and deposits it on the shore of my heart as the shame is lifted out.

and so yes, i’m in. all in.

the secondary gains and losses ever present

but with shame lost?

JOY gained

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

Art and Traveling Joy

November 9, 2013 / mel

Jesus reminds us we are art and empowers us to make art. there isn’t only one right way to do the job of glorifying God. There are many ways, a million little ways, that Christ is formed in us and spills out of us into the world.

-emily freeman

(i’ve been thinking on this topic of Art for some time now. i wrote about the way art (as we normally think of it) facilitated the drawing out my youngest’s truer self. Emily Freeman’s journey with art has also influenced me greatly. She started 2011 on her blog with a series on Art. This year, she did a series titled; “Artists and Influencers.” the quote above is from her newly released book: A Million Little Ways (p.29))

………………………………….

The Art of a Pastor

on any given Sunday there is this man. he is a father, a grandpa, a husband, a shepherd. throughout the week he wrestles and ponders and discovers truth from God for himself. and then on Sunday he authentically shares it with us-hoping so much that we would grasp in some way the height and depth and width and breath of God’s love for such sinners as we are. because he’s beginning to grasp it as the deep sinner that he knows he is. and he’s finding freedom and joy in the grasping.

that is his art.

The Art of an Architect

there is this architect who still draws with pencil and paper. i wanted to quote the entire post titled ‘drawing to a conclusion, the art of architecture part 1’ but instead i will settle for just this quote:

“the [homes] illustrated here (all produced by the agile hands of Bobby McAline) are the initial sparks of creation. They are predicated by talking (and mostly listening) to what our client says. Once we identify the heart of who is sitting in front of us and comprehend why the thing is, we can begin what the thing is.”

if i could ever afford an architect-this is exactly what i would want. one who would listen to my heart and perform a work of art to become my home.

The Art of an Italian Plaza Sketcher

There was this portrait artist my husband and i saw on our honeymoon. we were young and niave (nice way to say stupid) and cheap/having limited funds. we saw him on our first day of the tour in a plaza in Rome. he was creating a portrait of a woman with pencil or charcoal. it was breathtaking the way he was capturing her. we were intrigued and desired one of ourselves. but the 60.00 was a bit high-and we decided to wait until we returned to Rome at the end of our trip. we didn’t know what was ahead and didn’t want to spend so much our first day out. also thinking maybe this was something common in Italy and maybe we’d see more artists like him? we didn’t. and he was not there when we returned to the plaza 2 weeks later. he had a gift of capturing a soul.

The Art of mining for treasure with a friend

the Lord has gifted me with a dear one- a counselor who became my friend. a vessel in which the Lord has carried out His promise in Isaiah 45:3 as she came along side and mined for treasure in the darkness. my life and the lives of those i come in contact with have been forever changed because of the insights she’s invited me to discover and deal with in her listening. Her listening is her art.

Art+ no shame = Joy

the joy i see in the architect and my pastor and my friend seems directly related to not being ashamed of the way Christ is spilling out of them into the world. they are not ashamed of their art.

I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden wealth of secret places,
So that you may know that it is I,
The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. (isaiah 45:3)

the treasure of art

unashamedly formed within and spilling forth

from the Master Artist

The Lord, The God of Israel,

who calls us by our very own name.

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

The First 6 Weeks of School

September 6, 2013 / mel

The First 6 Weeks of School. It’s an old book, used first by my aunt who was a teacher and then passed on to me. I remember the principles set forth, those first 6 weeks establishing routines and how the class will run the rest of the year. The importance of putting in time those first 6 weeks on these seemingly insignificant things so that learning can really take place later on.

i’m transitioning.

and this first week was full of interruptions. and there was no ‘first 6 weeks’ routines established. just lots of tears and pleas and prayers. (and rebellion and complaining; “This is Not what i planned for today!” -to be quite honest)

or maybe……

the routines will come, i will learn this new place and pace.

but the pleas and prayers-nothing insignificant about that-and how necessary it is for the real learning within to take place.

and this new transition brings with it attack on my identity-as change often can. and that still small voice whispered often…..

he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.

this first week my Teacher/Shepherd has established what remains the same as always:

His word is my comfort

His ear is always available

His judgments are just

His grace all sufficient

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

Freedom

August 25, 2013 / mel / 0 Comments

We head off to a funeral. the Papa’s life lived leaves room for debate on what really constitutes a life well lived. while in the midst of all the events of the week, i don’t see what is different about us. i only Thank God for the peace that has taken over my heart. attending formal functions can be challenging for us-for anyone with children i suppose-as most children find using forks to be optional and wearing uncomfortable clothes to be stupid.

but upon reflection of this picture i move.

from being thankful for peace in my heart to smile at my son’s chosen activity rather than panic in embarrassment (my more normal pattern).

i move into awareness of his freedom.

“life” my dear friend declares when i show her the picture.

and my vision shifts and i look and i see it too.

life here amongst death.

for him, for us what is different is that there is no fear in death.

we are not afraid of it. he is not afraid of it.

we walk among the graves and comment on the different dates and wonder about the lives lived and losses felt.

but my boy-he moves from there to the next logical place.

joy.

Oh Death where is your victory? oh grave where is your sting?

Death swallowed by triumphant Life!
Who got the last word, oh, Death?
Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?

It was sin that made death so frightening and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, its destructive power. But now in a single victorious stroke of Life, all three—sin, guilt, death—are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ. Thank God!

the kids start school on tuesday-the younger two this coming tuesday, the oldest the folowing tuesday. hence the long delays between posts! thank you for grace.

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

Passover…and He never lets go

March 28, 2013 / mel / 0 Comments

this playing

dishes sudsing

energy given for the washing

artist girl creating for school

trip to the library set 2 boys to reading

silent night, holy night, all. is. calm.

it’s been crazy around here

for such a long long time.

we missed passover last year when we spent the whole Holy week serving

and stood in awe at what the One who never lets go grasped hold of….

letting us participate-fear and trembling all the way.

now, the anniversary- oh what a year-barely time for breathing.

and i sat exhausted in this place yesterday. pleading.

pleading for energy to not give up on our thursday passover seder*

the kids. oh how they love it. oh the depth it adds. oh the work.

breathe in grace to just pick up a rotisserie, throw in some frozen broccoli and call the meal done.

knowing its all the other pieces that take. us. deep.

choosing to fit it in.

i hate that.

it feels like we are choosing to fit remembrance of You into living for You….(or is it living for us?)

exhaustion is never a good time for figuring these things out.

so tonight. i breathe deep. breathe in the calm. praise for the energy to wash up…

and to actually bake something. (is apple pie kosher??)

praise for the prayers answered…i almost missed it-forgetting i’d prayed, forgetting what i asked for, and the moment almost passed me by without notice.

but it didn’t. You opened my eyes and let me see this….

silent night, holy night.

all is calm, all is bright.

You came. You passed-over.

You never let go.

*not an affiliate link- just the kit i bought years ago.

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

Courage and Harvesting Ice.

October 23, 2012 / mel / 0 Comments

Recently we had church directory pictures taken. I wanted us to take a goofy picture, with unmatched clothes and making faces. I wanted it to be a picture that anytime someone looked at it they would laugh out loud-thus spreading Joy and fun for the sake of fun all amongst the congregation.

But we lacked the courage to follow through. We ended up all wearing black-which was fine. At least 4 times i quietly mentioned wanting a funny photo-finally the photographer (who was quite a professional i might add) gathered us to take one. But when it came time to pick for the directory, this photo wasn’t given as an option. When I mustered up the courage to ask if it could be used-the answer was no-it was taken horizontally and a vertical photo was needed.

Why could i not be more bold and direct and clear about what we wanted-even though it was so foreign an idea to the photographer’s frame of reference?

Even more recently, I wanted to miss something so that i could take the particular evening for a time of prayer. Our house is very small, and my husband works from home. There is just something about the freedom of being actually alone to sing and pray and just talk to God without having someone say “uh… mom?….who are you talking to?” but i quietly mentioned the possibility of not being there (without saying why)-and the response… i interpreted it within and quietly ‘recovered from my moment of madness’ declaring that “never mind, i don’t know what i was saying, yes in fact i would attend.”

Why could i not be more bold and just say-not quietly-but assertively; “Sorry, I will not be attending ________night.” and not leave any door open implying I’m asking permission, or just toying with the idea. Just put it out there straight and walk away and deal with the emotions later….during the precious alone time i would have had?????

Then there is the inward struggle with the way school has gone for the last few weeks. One child is homeschooled. We are in the middle of a family project-that would have been completed before school started if there had not been fire in the mountains -causing evacuations and delays at the beginning of the summer. Thus, his school currently consists of…..do i even have the courage to share what it actually consists of?

i was reminded of Farmer Boy by Laura Ingals Wilder. It’s the story of Almonzo as a boy (before he became Laura’s husband). a quote that i latched onto early on in my homeschooling ‘career’ was this:

“Almonzo did not go to school that day. He did not have to go to school when there were more important things to do.” (p.50)

i remember that one of those ‘more important things’ was harvesting ice for the ice-box. It wouldn’t have required courage for them to miss school for harvesting ice-for everyone knew how important it was for their survival, and everyone knew that when the conditions were right for it-you did it. the conditions were outside of their control-they had to work within the weather. but of course back then, everyone knew that. it was part of their culture.

I do believe with all my heart that school is important. I also believe with all my heart, there are more important things than school. So, while the others are off at school, my youngest’s education is consisting of other things than the 3 r’s. working alongside your dad-that is priceless education isn’t it?

so why is it that i cannot with confidence say-D-‘s school right now is carpentry, and how to respond to frustration and discouragement (the former from his father, the latter from his mother :)). Why do i so quickly let the fear seep in and take over my thoughts? or if i’ve conquered it within-why do i not speak of it boldly without?

it all boils down to a lack of courage to live out what the Lord has placed within. How the spirit has directed and led. regardless of culture. regardless of whatever! There’s this idol of other’s opinions on the matter that seem to overtake my heart i think. and there is this quiet way about me-that i have prayed and prayed and prayed to be replaced with boldness.

i have encouraged myself with stories of others’ who trudge a new and different path contrary to the desires and acceptance of those near them;

“No, I replied to their suggestions, ‘God is leading this way, and this way I go.” p.34 of ‘To a Different Drum’ by Pauline Hamilton

“Many difficulties have risen in my mind, they seem very great, the ‘crooked places’ seem very crooked, but it seems to me that all He asks is that we should take the one step He shows us, and in simplest, most practical trust leave all results to Him. Mother, I know that very few of our friends will think I am right. Those who don’t know the Shepherd’s voice themselves will be quite sure i am very wrong adn mistaken, but He has said, ‘Walk before Me, and be thou perfect.’ He knows, and He won’t let me dishonour Him by making a mistake and following my own fancy instead of Him. if it is so, He will show it to me, but if it is His will, I must do it….” Amy Carmichael of Dohnavur by Frank L. Houghton p.45

sigh-to be so couragous. to trust His leading. in just the little things-starting with the little things. It’s something i so long to learn……

i am reminded of Jesus words to the disciples in the boat:

“Take Courage, it is I”

He offers the courage for me to take. He doesn’t say’ “Have courage, be courageous” (tho He does say that elsewhere-like to Joshua.) no in these cases it’s: “Take!” which means it’s something i don’t have already.

i don’t know how to be courageous. Nevertheless, i do have hope that i can learn how to take courage from the One whom i so long to follow where He is currently leading.

because learning comes with practice and repetition. and if the Lord would grant that plea for boldness to just be so….natural;

well then, what would i need Him for?

He has said; “blessed are the poor in spirit”

which means that joy, once again, will not be found with an instant personality change. but with having received courage to harvest the ice. And i will instantly know where the Glory goes-to my Strength who has come to my aid….again. And I will thank Him.

Original post blogged on b2evolution.

Category: art (page 3 of 4)

breathing among the papyrus reeds

heading back to N. Carolina to spend time in a Barn

An Unexpected Journey-looking back

asking

gains and losses

Art and Traveling Joy

The Art of a Pastor

The Art of an Architect

The Art of an Italian Plaza Sketcher

The Art of mining for treasure with a friend

Art+ no shame = Joy

The First 6 Weeks of School

Freedom

Passover…and He never lets go

Courage and Harvesting Ice.

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