HPIM0162

had there been an ocean nearby it would have been a hurricane.  the wind speeds that year were well over 100 miles/hr.  we re-built the yurt, shoring it up and making it stronger.  we began framing in walls and adding cabinetry we’d found second hand.  we pressed on and kept at it-working to make the November 1st moving date we’d agreed upon.

another wind storm leading to another phone call and we found ourselves once again defeated.  i wrote in my journal:

Thursday morning i receive a call-the roof of our yurt is flapping around.  Jeremy and i head up to the property-there has been another serious wind storm-trees are down.  We get to the property-and half of the roof is off, ripped and flapping around in the wind.  Standing in the yurt is frightening-the pieces of roof whip around and slam into the rafters.  The dome is cracked and broken, but still hanging on.  The wood is secure-tho it has torqued a bit.  All the interior framing that Jeremy and his dad worked so hard on Tuesday and Wednesday evening-has shifted, some of the studs have fallen down.  We empty the yurt once again of our kitchen cabinets, camping stove and various tools and supplies.  We sit inside and we cry.  We are speechless to some degree.  On the drive up the radio offers up comfort; “I will sing of Your mercies that lead me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy….higher mountains have come down….hallelujah” (Jars of clay) Millions of thoughts run through my mind, so many things I don’t know.  I could list them; I don’t know why, I don’t know where we went wrong, I don’t know if we went wrong-I don’t know what we will do, I don’t know… on and on and on.  STOP! I cry out to myself, I focus on the only thing I do know.  I know my God loves me, I am written on the palm of His hand.  I know this for sure-and that’s it.  And it’s enough.

HPIM0190

this time it wasn’t just the yurt that was effected, the east wall of our foundation also blew down.  the re-bar that jeremy and the kids worked together to form and place in preparation for concrete-now bent and twisted.  concrete blocks crumbled.  i marvel at the power of the wind.

HPIM0314

pre-wind. i can’t find a photo of the after.

our gracious friends/landlords gave us time to re-group.  i pour over the numbers.  we are out of money, all of our savings having gone towards the yurt and supplies.  we both have a settling deep within that we are not to re-build the yurt or move up, still we need a place to live and we are already paying a mortgage. i crunch and squeeze and come up with a figure for what we could afford for rent and we begin the search.

of course opinions abound from all over the place.  there are those who never thought we should be living in the mountains in the first place and those who think we should keep at it.  making decisions while grieving and under stress isn’t easy anyways, but the yurt was my idea.  my idea has cost us a summer and all of our savings.  i found myself paralyzed and afraid, no longer trusting that i knew how to hear the Lord’s leading.  we’d go about visiting various apartments and houses in various cities nearby that we could afford.  we’d return home and weigh the choices before us and wonder.

From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live….

ok, we prayed.  where?

chasingjoy5