Last year i went to N. Carolina to attend an afternoon At The Barn
as a family we’d been impacted by a fire in 2011, another one in 2012, living in town 5 of us crammed into a 2 bedroom 800 sq ft house, and many battles for hope.
personally, i’d turned 40 and found myself walking blindly through a fog of decisions that included leaving a ministry i’d been a part of for 15 years, clueless as to where the Lord was taking my heart and my life but following step by step and clinging to Isaiah 42:16 and 50:10-11
in the middle of a flood, i pressed the button to reserve my ticket for The Barn Event.
on the plane i finished up the last chapters of Emily’s book; A Million Little Ways, and waited in anticipation for all that the Lord would do during this much needed weekend away. then there were no words for all that transpired between the airport and the actual event. but i carved out a few anyway-The Lord, my Shepherd .
worn and weary i headed out on the road towards somewhere, NC and that glorious Barn.
And for an afternoon i was refreshed, inspired, seen. and i was so very glad i went.
and i learned a thing or two about rest. that rest not a place, rest is a Person. yes He can use a place to draw me into deeper rest in Him-What Emily said about hope applies here too. sometimes rest finds you on the Beach, while other times you have to dig for it among the bugs.
lately i’ve been growing in taking my writing more seriously. by that i mean, actually telling people; “i’m writing” i tried it out the other day at the vet’s when i got to see our actual vet whom i’ve known for years but rarely get. the question came; “how have you been, what have you been doing?” and i updated him about the ages of my kids and then i said; “i’ve been writing.” the vet was a safe place to try it out, it’s less risky because the odds of him actually asking to read anything is very slim.
but the saying it out loud to someone else means i am giving it value.
home alone, i was on Emily’s blog the other day and i saw the link to another barn event. this time specifically for writers. my heart skipped a beat and i payed attention. i allowed myself to go there. that meant clicking the link to the event and checking out the details. then looking around online at flights and hotels and what would it cost? then seeing the cost and knowing it was not doable and sitting back in my chair and grieving. then getting out the map and seeing what’s nearby. and then checking flights to nearby places.
it is cheap to fly to Atlanta. i tuck the knowledge away
jeremy and the kids come home and there is all the telling about their time and i listen and we go about life. amidst all the noise and moving about together, i mention it. softly and timidly, i mention it. “there is another barn event, this time focused on writing. it’s in Midland, 4 hours from Atlanta.”
and he listens.
and sits down and pulls out his phone (because, the calendar). this summer things shifted for him at work and he’s been traveling every month. to Atlanta.
“when is it?”“i think that’s when my next Atlanta trip is…..yep it is.”“i think you should do it. go ahead and buy the ticket and then we will work out all the details.”
i hesitate a bit. then move toward the idea. we talk about taking a weekend away together. he mentions the places he’s been that we can now see together. he doesn’t mind me spending part of our time at a writing event. even though he’ll be dropping me off 4 hours from our hotel? he says he’ll be fine finding something to do. i’ll return home on Monday, and he’ll stay behind for work.
i buy the ticket.
This time, i’m not necessarily going for rest (tho i’ll take it whenever it comes!)
no, this time, i’m going to Atlanta for the romance.
and to the Barn Event? i’m going for my heart.